Tag Archives: mathematical psychology


Mean Speed-Carlton Summary

composer=David J. Matthews
song=Grey Street
performer=Dave Matthews Band
event=concert at Piedmont Park, 2007
average velocity/mean speed=105.2 beats per minute
average beat=571 milliseconds
mean emotion according to meanspeed music theory=natural
recording source=iTunes
Bit Rate=128 kbps


Sample rate=44.100 kHz
Volume=(-11) dB
Profile=Low Complexity
Channels=Stereo
intellectual property=Bama Rags, © 2007 Bama Recordings, L.L.C.

We have explored the last legal version of Grey Street we could buy.

Again, the song averages 105.2 beats per minute - still within the meanspeed music theory category (mean emotion) of what we still call “natural.” I say “still called” because of all the categories this speed might best be called “The Speed of There” of “The Speed of the Ideal Moment.”


It does turn out to be the universal speed of orgasm - source: axiomatic German studies from 2 years ago which overturned the former orgasm paradigm held by Masters and Johnson. Dr. Masters had proven, and this holds, that no rhythmic quality to a sexual act between two lovers of different sexes (or the same sex, by definition) is common EXCEPT at the speed of sexual climax, both men and women experienced 6 to 10 uncontrollable spasms of bot the genital area and the anal area. In 2003, German scientists went all the way (literally) and inserted anal devices of spasm measurement in order to challenge the spasms starting at 80 pumps per minute. Sure enough, the universal speed of orgasm is 100 pulses, or pumps or beats per minute, slowing down little by little, literally and figuratively.

What one hears in the version of Grey Street, after we have heard
1) Busted Stuff, 2001
2) Live at AOL benefit Concert, 2002
3) Live at the Gorge, 2004
4) Live on Trax Vol. 6, 2006
5) Live at Piedmont Park, 2007 -

what we hear is a fresh song starting to get stale, all in the same speed range. Someone on the Piedmont Park mix turned up one musician, who will go nameless - he played one 11 note chromatic riff for 4 minutes. I’ve heard that riff in the song before - hear it is so loud that it seems like Dave wants to embarrass him by saying; dude, listen to that - learn some melodic lines, please. This is a rare song that when you look at those concerts which I have compared and contrasted, the quality of the song suffers a little bit with every passing couple of years. Perhaps Dave and the Band should closet the song for a while and make it fresh again.

I sound harsh. I have listened to the song about 75 times over the last 5 days - calibration style active listening, and therefore I understandably am a little sick of it right now, like eating 7 chocolate cakes. On a great day, I can easily put away an Entemann’s “chocolate marshmallow” cake in its entirety in. Not 75 of them though. I’ll probably start loving the song in all versions again tomorrow!

Ian Schneider
Meanspeed Music
June 16, 2008

Meanspeed Music Summary
song title=”Here, There and Everywhere”
composer=John Lennon and Paul McCartney
performer=The Beatles
beats calibrated=1,584
time elapsed=1276.0111 seconds
average beat length=0.726 seconds
mean speed/average tempo=82.7 beats per minute
album=’Revolver’
Date of release=April, 1966
Most Interesting rhyme=’everyhwere’ with ‘care’ with ‘everywhere’ with ’share’ with ‘There’
“I want her everywhere/and if she’s beside me I know I need never care/But to love her is to need her everywhere/knowing that love is to share/each one believing that love never dies/watching her eyes/and hoping I’m always there
emotive category according to mean speed music theory=Loneliness

Ian Schneider
March 6, 2008










I’m Only Sleeping is a popular song written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney. It is the third track on the album by the Beatles called ‘Revolover’, a groundbreaking piece of musical genius.

These are some songs calibrated in our very relaxed yet intense yet simplistic - but at all times open minded - clinic that are extremely close to I’m Only Sleeping by speed as groups and beats per minute.

The songs are cut and pasted from my own work, so I don’t have to apologize for the typos! Whoops, this is where I vouchsafe for the numbers. Even our thankless president does not appreciate “fuzzy” math.

Crazy, Seal 103.1
live-Grammy Awards 2/25/92 103.1
Fakin’ It Simon & Garfunkle 103.1
Miss Chatelaine k.d. lang 103.1
Nobody’s Girl Bonnie Rait 103.1
Young Mothers Diana Ross 103.1
All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You Heart 103.2
Another Day In Paradise Phil Collins
live-Late Night with David Letterman 11/28/89 103.2
Behind The Lines Phil Collins 103.2
Hold On Lou Reed 103.2
Jack and Diane John Mellancamp 103.2
Let’s Stay Together Tina Turner
Live-Brazil 103.2
Love Will Never Do Without You Janet Jackson 103.2
Riders On The Storm The Doors 103.2
On A Saturday Night Eddie Floyd 103.2
(Sitting On) The Dock Of The Bay Ottis Redding 103.2
Sunday Jealous Nick Davis 103.2
I’m Only Sleeping The Beatles 103.3
I Will The Beatles 103.3
No Myth Michal Penn 103.3
Rosie Jackson Brown
Live-Running On Empty 103.3
She Can’t Say No Scandal 103.3
Booker-Loo Booker T 103.4
Brother Louie Stories 103.4
Friend Of The Devil Grateful Dead 103.4
I Wanna Be Where You Are Michael Jackson 103.4
Love Has Teh Power Toto 103.4
Missing You John Waites 103.4
Mothers of The Dissappeared U2 103.4
Primal Scream Motley Crue 103.4
Time’s Up Living Colour 103.4
ABC’s Wide World Of Sports TV Theme 103.4
In My Life The Beatles 103.5
It’s For You Pat Metheny Group 103.5
Licking Stick-Licking Stick James Brown 103.5
Sandy The Hollies 103.5
(Sitting On) The Dock Of The Bay Otis Redding

Meanspeed Music Summary

mean speed=103.2 bpm
average beat=0.581 seconds
emotive category according to meanspeed music theory=natural
best rhyme=tie,’lazy’ and ‘crazy’ and ’speed’ with ‘need’ - in the sane verse!
“Everybody seems to think I’m lazy,
I don’t mind,
I think they’re crazy.
Running everywhere as such a speed,
til they find there’s no need.”
Ian Schneider
speed chart designed by Sophia St. John Newman
February 28, 2008

speed is to music as the weather report is to the news
- Hunter Newman

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