Tonight’s American Idol featured songs performed by the contestants that were recorded in the year that each contestant was born.
Of the 93 songs on which we could vote played on the show so far, the median speed is 98 beats per minute. Tonight, the only song faster than 98 bpm was Brooke White’s version of Every Breath You take, played with a considerable lack of feel, like a Richard Claderman piano roll - right after White told us she was so talented that she sat down and just started playing. After her “I am the female Mozart meets Joni Mitchell” self-promotion, admittedly edited to highlight White’s delusion of being any better than the woman who plays on Thursday nights here at the Princeton Hyatt - fact is, White may have better hair - but that is about it.
The speeds were exceptionally slow and safe, as were the performances but for David Cook’s 50 beat per minute Billie Jean was the slowest of the season and by far the best song of the night. It is impossible for me to see how Cook can lose, unless a group of people elect Archuleta, who sings almost every note that lands on a “one” with the *same* effeminate grace note: sliding a full step above the note written and gliding back down. It is a great and powerful tool - but using such grace note one every major verb is beyond funny into the annoying.
Castro was absolutely awful in singing Fragile at 94 bpm where it was recorded and is played at 84 beats per minute. The change sounded Barry Manilow kitsch, as noted by Simon Cowell. The Michael Johns’ We Will Rock You into We Are The Champions was Velveeta with Kool-Whip on top. This awful display ought to get Johns voted off, but the judges loved it (which means Syesha will be the one to go).
It is still Cook versus Castro versus Archuleta. Castro has little feel for the songs - as he showed tonight, singing a song about genocidal death and torture chambers in Argentina as if it were a Boy George birthday song. His Spanish background was of little use. Syesha was adequate but forgettable, as were Carly, Ramielle, and Kristy Lee. Chikezie is much like that of a Castro: singing talent yes, ability to emote, no.
March 26, 2008
